Surf satire from 'Bearded Gimp'

[Trev]

Man's got more boatbuilding, woodworking skills in his big toe than 99 percent of the cunce who hang shit on him.

absolutely, and it's doubtful anyone would dispute that..
Roy's work is magnificent and unrivalled..
but what's also true, is that anything that's ever offered up by Roy is either to promote himself or slander others..
Roy's craft and the way he chooses to ride waves is "a" way, but not "the" way..
(that's his downfall, as he's sees his way as the "only" way)
over the course of time on RS (and swaylocks, where he was eventually banned), he's hung shit on anyone that rides contemporary shortboards, or chooses to hang-ten, or cross-step on a longboard..
he's also made snide remarks at tom wegner's craft..
Roy is perhaps the most narrow-minded ego-centric dweeb to ever post on RS..
he's a great craftsman, but also an idiot..

Iggs, you took the words right out of my mouth.
Great craftsman but incredibly narrow minded in outlook and zero acceptance of anything but "his" way.

[roy Stewart]

Man's got more boatbuilding, woodworking skills in his big toe than 99 percent of the cunce who hang shit on him.

absolutely, and it's doubtful anyone would dispute that..
Roy's work is magnificent and unrivalled..
but what's also true, is that anything that's ever offered up by Roy is either to promote himself or slander others..
Roy's craft and the way he chooses to ride waves is "a" way, but not "the" way..
(that's his downfall, as he's sees his way as the "only" way)
over the course of time on RS (and swaylocks, where he was eventually banned), he's hung shit on anyone that rides contemporary shortboards, or chooses to hang-ten, or cross-step on a longboard..
he's also made snide remarks at tom wegner's craft..
Roy is perhaps the most narrow-minded ego-centric dweeb to ever post on RS..
he's a great craftsman, but also an idiot..

Iggs, you took the words right out of my mouth.
Great craftsman but incredibly narrow minded in outlook and zero acceptance of anything but "his" way.

Hahahahaha I'd say we do more variety in fin setups, lengths, widths, thickness and rocker than the rest of the manufacturers on the planet added together, but that's just an educated guess !

.

[roy Stewart]

Man's got more boatbuilding, woodworking skills in his big toe than 99 percent of the cunce who hang shit on him.

absolutely, and it's doubtful anyone would dispute that..
Roy's work is magnificent and unrivalled..
but what's also true, is that anything that's ever offered up by Roy is either to promote himself or slander others..
Roy's craft and the way he chooses to ride waves is "a" way, but not "the" way..
(that's his downfall, as he's sees his way as the "only" way)
over the course of time on RS (and swaylocks, where he was eventually banned), he's hung shit on anyone that rides contemporary shortboards, or chooses to hang-ten, or cross-step on a longboard..
he's also made snide remarks at tom wegner's craft..
Roy is perhaps the most narrow-minded ego-centric dweeb to ever post on RS..
he's a great craftsman, but also an idiot..

Dude, I just call it the way I see it.

Regarding Tom Wegener's boards we have a lot in common design wise and I've been saying for years that even though I'm not a noserider I really admire his noserding boards.

Not sure where you got the idea that I've been making snide remarks about him, although possibly you might erroneously construe such a thing from an impersonal design discussion.

As far as Swaylocks goes, you have no idea but keep on towing that party line like a good chap.

[Clif]

Everything is the party line except your line, right Roy? Yes, you shape a variety of boards but you are missing the point. People don't like the way you preach at them rather than discuss with them. Better a 'party' line than a dictatorial one.

[roy Stewart]

At least I get a good laugh at myself mate !

[purple pyramids]

oh please, roy. i've never seen anybody take themselves as seriously as you do. you're the most earnest, narrow-minded, self-promoting piece of pomposity i've come across.

i do my best to like you -- i love weirdo freaks and hate the squares. but you don't seem to embody any of the spirit of the freak, just the trappings.

[gibber]

Oh fcuk...now where did I put that opened can of worms.
Sorry to be the catalyst for this threads development, I really did feel like a cnut (and still do) for taking a cheap shot.
Anyway, how about them tomatoes and landscaping ideas ay

[Trev]

Oh fcuk...now where did I put that opened can of worms.
Sorry to be the catalyst for this threads development, I really did feel like a cnut (and still do) for taking a cheap shot.
Anyway, how about them tomatoes and landscaping ideas ay

Gaz, don't worry about it.
Roy makes his own problems.
He leads with his chin far too much for his own good.
Sort of like the rest of us on here, too.
Or maybe if we get a bit more abusive, the thread will get locked.

[roy Stewart]

oh please, roy. i've never seen anybody take themselves as seriously as you do.

We do have a range of moods, including ultra serious, and ultra hilarious.

You sound pretty serious yourself right now !

you don't seem to embody any of the spirit of the freak

That's because I'm not a freak !

[roy Stewart]

Everything is the party line except your line, right Roy? Yes, you shape a variety of boards but you are missing the point. People don't like the way you preach at them rather than discuss with them. Better a 'party' line than a dictatorial one.

Dictatorial ?

Here's a helpful wee clue: You can stop doing what I say now, it's not compulsory !

As for the party line, we all know what sort of horse one gets when a committee designs it !

Gimme a dictator any day. . . hang on, I AM a dictator I'm the ruler of my own being, it's called Liberty !

[Kunji]

[Clif]

I'm the ruler of my own being

No you are not, you just think you are.

Here's a wee clue: Nobody is doing what you say, hence why you always have to do the hard sell, over and over and over again. Sorry to say, it is tiresome.

Here's another wee clue: How about simply posting pictures of your woodwork projects without the dialogue? It is much more pleasant for all concerned.

[bohdidontsurf]

I have got to say , I have lived my life until now just being vaguely aware of Roy. I dont know enough about him as a person to say diddly either way, but man, just because its wood and it doesnt look like homer simpsons spice rack doesnt mean its a good board, and I would eat a handful of my own sh.it before I strode down the beach with one of Roys under my arm. I seriously had to read some of his stuff twice to see if this was a gee up or not. If Garrat McNamara tows in on that ironing board with a handle (fin) then I want to see the footage and some commentary just to be sure its not a dare.

[roy Stewart]

I have got to say , I have lived my life until now just being vaguely aware of Roy. I dont know enough about him as a person to say diddly either way, but man, just because its wood and it doesnt look like homer simpsons spice rack doesnt mean its a good board, and I would eat a handful of my own sh.it before I strode down the beach with one of Roys under my arm. I seriously had to read some of his stuff twice to see if this was a gee up or not. If Garrat McNamara tows in on that ironing board with a handle (fin) then I want to see the footage and some commentary just to be sure its not a dare.

Cue a slight creaking noise as your mind tries to expand but fails.

.

[roy Stewart]

How about simply posting pictures of your woodwork projects without the dialogue?

It is much more pleasant for all concerned.

Certainly, but let's just say more pictures AND more dialogue shall we ?

Here's some more dialogue from 'The bearded Gimp'

"On the beach, veteran ASP judge Raimundo Herrera watched open-mouthed at the scene unfolding in front of him. "I'd just given Ben a 9.63 for his massive ride and then Roy gets his first wave. What could we do? It was the best wave I'd seen in my life - one that made our scoring system suddenly irrelevant. In the end we had to start marking him out of 100. Roy's heat total was 197.6 for his two best waves and his nearest competitor scored 16.1. It was carnage out there. Lambs to the slaughter."

That performance was enough for the rest of the field. As Herrera confirms, "Pretty much straight after Roy's first ride 17 competitors withdrew with injury and the rest of them followed suit, citing a variety of reasons. Nobody came out and said it, but we all knew that Roy would simply make them look stupid. Only Phil Rajzman was prepared to put his reputation on the line so we arranged a final for the two of them. Fair play to Phil, he gave it a go but Roy absolutely roasted him. He came in with tears in his eyes. Said it was a privilege to be out there in the presence of genius."

[Grooter]

[nu boy]

AAAHaaahaaha,All this tunnel vision makes me think of tunnel fins.I have one of roys tunnel fins and it works well in an 8'4" foam board.Imsoon totry it in a fish ??? .Without experimentalists like roy surfing would stagnate into corperate design lockdown other wise known as G.S.I. so bring it on roy use your hands to create your dreams at least you are being who you are and not what they want you to be..........

[caspian]

Cue a slight creaking noise as your mind tries to expand but fails..

yeah this guy's hilarious.

Over the last two months or so realsurf has shown me some real characters, both good and bad. I'm glad I found this place