RealSurf Surfers' Forum

This amazing word surfaced during the Lame Surfing Terms thread. It was coined apparently by Dave Parmenter to describe the levelling or lowering of the general surfing IQ as a result of the Beginner Boom of this decade.

I thought it was witty, typical Parmenter, but then yesterday I saw something that jammed his point home. Recently I'd been discussing some sort of mag article stuff with a mate on the Goldie and he suggested we do something about people putting their boards on the roof the wrong way. "Man I've been seeing 'em everywhere!" he said. "People strapping their boards on their racks BOTTOM DOWN! Like what the f**k are they thinking."

I'd semi written my mate off, had never seen such a witless move...but yesterday I saw THREE SEPARATE CARS driving away from the northern beaches in the late arvo with four or five boards strapped EXACTLY THAT WAY -- fins down, noses up, rockers squeezed onto the racks.

What the HELL? Is this contagious? Can anyone else come up with some wrought-iron examples of an emerging Kookocracy?

Carrying your board under your arm fins out so the wax rubs all over your side?!

smnmntl wrote:

Nick Carroll wrote: Can anyone else come up with some wrought-iron examples of an emerging Kookocracy?

Not being able to surf, and trying to make a virtue of it by gaying around in the water on small pieces of foam, doing spins & "inverts" & calling it a "lifestyle"

Bahahaha

The re-emergence of paddling gloves and other similar devices. I wonder where Richie Collins is these days

What about the hanks who wash the salt water/ sand off their boards! Who the hell gets sand on their board?

Back to surfing Freshie cause the family like it on a Sunday morning and my 10 year old is learning.

The learners give you funny looks as you glide along the wave as if to say "Why aren't you going straight so I can ride it too?"

Cactus, I know this discussion has been had before but I've got to disagree with you. The rail shape on my mal makes it much easier to carry fins out and I don't get any wax rubbing on my side. Maybe we should add "Using the wrong wax so it rubs off your board when you carry it."

A mate of mine from North Straddie ..Russel Speck ...once gave me a lecture on board carrying techniques to swat sandflies and kill the f-ckers mid flight.
The guy downed three before his feet even hit the sand

hehe saw somebody put a wetsuit on with the zip up the front!!!

deleted

I don't take my phone for fear of it getting stolen let alone ringing my mates. I have also seen a large amount of boards on the wrong way around Longy.

I know we've been here before, but for me the kookocracy is typified by the armies of overweight, unfit novices marching down to the water's edge with big boards under their arms. Fortunately they start to thin out after it gets over two foot and virtually disappear when it's over four foot, but we get a lot of days under four foot on the East Coast.

I came across the term kookocracy in a slightly bitter article written by Parmenter for a recent issue of The Surfers Journal. I'll try to put up some extracts from the article later in the day. He's a clever guy and a good writer. The article was decrying the rise in the production of "pop-out" surfboards and decline in custom shaping (maybe more of a trend in the US than here) but makes some general points about the overall fall in the level of ability out in the line-up.

smnmntl wrote:

Nick Carroll wrote: Can anyone else come up with some wrought-iron examples of an emerging Kookocracy?

Not being able to surf, and trying to make a virtue of it by gaying around in the water on small pieces of foam, doing spins & "inverts" & calling it a "lifestyle"

haha god you come up with some classics!

Waxing your board when its laid out on the carpark gravel
Taking your lunch to the beach
Taking your wife to the beach
Folding your towel
Wearing socks
Putting rubber over nude !
Using tan oils
Speaking to coppers
Drinking before 6am
Smoking any damn thing
Talking to girls
Wearing a shirt with more than two buttons done up
Talking to girls and using paddleboards
Using paddleboards
Wearing Ughs outside of the house

- and that's just a couple that come to mind

You're all going great.

Hint: don't generalise. Find some specific instance! FI: along with the boards strapped on the wrong way, I saw an overweight 45-year-old guy at Newport yesterday go "surfing" on a popout mini-mal with the legrope STILL WRAPPED AROUND THE TAIL.

Grinning fit to bust. (Him and me.)

iggy wrote:

kreepykrawly wrote:A mate of mine from North Straddie ..Russel Speck ...once gave me a lecture on board carrying techniques to swat sandflies and kill the f-ckers mid flight.
The guy downed three before his feet even hit the sand

Specht rips..!
forget how many tubes i have seen him in at the gorge off point lookout...
KK... are you refering to those big mutha fkkuka green march flies that bite the sh1t out of you?... they are mutant sized over there and will follow you all the way down the beach and the swatting technique is very much standard procedure and a must in summer

First met Specky at Lakey peak in 1991 and have been going to Straddie over the years and seeing him. He used to live right on the headland(just behind the grass hill) before it was developed. He has now moved to Trinnity Bay on the other side.The guys a classic.
Those flies aint green. these are sand colored and bite. slow moving and stupid.

Nick Carroll wrote: It was coined apparently by Dave Parmenter to describe the levelling or lowering of the general surfing IQ as a result of the Beginner Boom of this decade.

To take this only slightly off topic, is there any general consensus about the theory of a 'Beginner's boom over the past decade'.

It's hard to tell, but I think there are less overall numbers (of surfers) in the water now than 10 or 15 years ago. There seems to be plenty of good surfers about, no doubt about that. I'd always assumed that things like putting your board on the roof upside down, and paddling to catch the whitewash, etc were just backpackers having a dabble.

So how is it in your neck of the woods?

Are there more beginners in the water now, or more surfers generally, or is Dave Parmenter (and maybe Nick) just getting old and crotchetty?

Ya gotta love those Japs who paddle out with the old waterproof disposable camera hanging around the neck, just in case another photo opportunity arises while in the drink.

andycumo wrote:

smnmntl wrote:

Nick Carroll wrote: Can anyone else come up with some wrought-iron examples of an emerging Kookocracy?

Not being able to surf, and trying to make a virtue of it by gaying around in the water on small pieces of foam, doing spins & "inverts" & calling it a "lifestyle"

haha god you come up with some classics!

yeah i agree. he really does say some funny things. the fact that he is saying the same thing time and time again while still keeping the same level of funny is amazing.