Roll call

[offshore1]

Damn straight, that Stuey guy had all the hallmarks of a bad spoon player with an equally retarded captive audience.

Guilty as charged. I've never claimed not to be retarded. I guess I think that there is room in here for everyone who has something to say. Marcus and Guard included as long as they don't go around banning people they don't like.

[Larry]

Old bastard just finished writing a spy novel, Clif, on the porch and under a cloud of smoke. Took 4.5 years. Reading old emails with a cup of coffee every now and then kept the feet on the ground.

[steve shearer]

I missed the stuey era but he rattled Carrolls cage.
What's the synopsis?

[Hatchnam]

Go back and read some of Stueys dribble if you must. Most of which is written in some sort of indecipherable creole bogan language. All in an attempt to be really funny

[steve shearer]

Did he have some kind of over arching world view?

[Hatchnam]

Did he have some kind of over arching world view?

Yes. From behind a pair of these bad boyz.

[Beanpole]

We are still in the era of hatchies dominance.
It's really like his own caliphate where any transgressions are dealt with harshly.

[Drailed]

Oh god no, not the reflective wrap arounds.

[crabmeat thompson]

the original speed dealers

[Hatchnam]

We are still in the era of hatchies dominance.
It's really like his own caliphate where any transgressions are dealt with harshly.

That's just some self serving passive agressive hippy shit you cooked up all by yourself.

Plenty of people thought he sucked. But go ahead single me out if that aligns your chakkras

[Larry]

.... Don gave me my first break as a writer, Clif the second. Shearer and I boosted each other's websites for Jewfish, Nettle owes me the two schooners I bought him at Avalon when Kurungabaa was in the wind. Ringy is a brother, as is deadman and braithy, saltman, BigAl, Fong . We used to take the piss out of sellnougt's Matson when he buzzed in and out of the carparks taking quickpics.
Credentials. History. Background.Characters. Stuey was just one of them. Living and surfing in Japan and taking the piss out of everyone. It got so bad here, he and his band of unholy brothers set up their own site and cut looser. Nobody getting along with any of them at the time on Realsurf. Plus the personal aggravation at Avalon for busting pics of LA and BJoey anytime I wanted. Man, was I the local leper.

There you go Hatches ... a man could write a book about this place and its connections. You just a new boy, and a loud boy.

[Hatchnam]

Yes I was there for all of that. 2006 onwards. But still doesn't change to fact that the website itself (discluding the forum) is pointless. Regardless of how misty eyed you feel about it.

[Larry]

Where do you get this 'misty eyed' bullshit from?

[Hatchnam]

Ok. "Sentimentally nostalgic" then ?

And as far as nostalgia goes, "North Narrabeen from a Locals Perspective" was probably the best ever thread on these forums.

[Larry]

Why?

[crabmeat thompson]

Ok. "Sentimentally nostalgic" then ?

And as far as nostalgia goes, "North Narrabeen from a Locals Perspective" was probably the best ever thread on these forums.

Like Hakman standing at Pipe ... realsurf was the original, bruh. gotta know your rootz.

I think it was 1999 when i started writing the goldie surf reports for RS front page. Don gave me one of the very first digi cameras ever made and demanded pics of miami beachbreak. I'm not sure i ever took one in focus, and when they were in focus, the action was so far away everyone looked like ants from 20 000 feet.

i tried sticking the lens up to my binoculars and shooting, but then all i'd get is a closeup of someone's thigh. the collection of shots i took were so outrageously bad, that they were good. in an abstract art kinda way.


this was of course when the internet was all Lord Of The Flies. prolonged flat spells would mean i'd cut loose with things like; So flat my only wave in the last week was slapping my girlfriends thigh and catching a weak roller into the sand. And, flatter than miranda kerr today folks.

Poor old Don was threatened with law suits galore from my daily report alone ... let alone all the others. Gordon Merchant got stuck into me one saturday morning ... the brothers neilson was running and kirra was 6-8 on a much hyped swell and i didn't lodge my report until about 11:30am. I addressed him as Gordo, and later told him he was a cunt and advised him to use a little common sense ... if the forecast is off the hook, and it's 9am on the said day of a cranking forecast and i haven't lodge a report, Gordo ... just get the fuck out there.

We wwent back'n'forth in emails for about a week after that and Gordo and i still aren't talking. haha

I only stopped my RS reports when fulltime Surfing Life work came through.

The Goat's long range forecasts – in my nostalgic mind – are still better & more accurate than anything swellnet pumps out to this day. You could set your watch to them, and they were only a paragraph long. You didn't have have scroll through 2 million words to find how big it would be for the weekend.

Fact is ... i'd never have got the gig at surfing life if it wasn't for RS. So i'm all kinds of grateful to this big old piece of shit site. and that's the thing about Realsurf™ ... it's our piece of shit.

Like larry says ... a book exists within the walls of this place. not just any book either, but a fucking great one.

[Hatchnam]

Why?

Because it ran for about 26 pages, with half of it in caps lock, one man versus the rest, skin and fur flying all over, then the thread got locked.

That's why.

[Larry]

One man v the rest.

Exactly.

Stuey in a nutshell.