Heads up

[spork]

I hung my vest in the tree out the front to dry, as i usually do. Forgot it was there and left it overnight, grabbed it in the morn and went for a surf. The next morning i woke up with massive welts under my arm and on my chest and back. Went to the chemist and he diagnosed the frikken hairy catapillar! seems the mongrel was having a nice cosy sleep in there til I came along. He must have been pissed off cos he bit the crap outa me, it really itches and the muscles under the bites are weak and tender to touch. Cortizone and antihistamines have done nothing, anyone?

[daryl]

Look next time, bit like checking your boots for spiders. No idea, will try and think. Google says wash clean, cold pack, Paracetamol.

[saucy gibbon]

next time leave your sluggoes out, your detainees may appreciate the swelling whilst you are giving them their next "merit card"

[alakaboo]

you've got thousands of brittle hairs embedded in your skin, irritating the crap out of you
Soak in water

[daryl]

you've got thousands of brittle hairs embedded in your skin, irritating the crap out of you
Soak in water

and find a liquid pour on "Itch Go" type of product form the pharmacy, that or Calomine

[haysie]

Ok, you'll need a large bucket, 2L of Low Fat milk, Honey, a velcro strip and a purple beret.

First, put the purple beret on your head. You want to look stylish, don't you?
Second, find a large stick that has a texture similar to Bob Hawke's face.
Beat the bucket in a rythmic tribute to Huey, asking him to forgive you for not checking your wetsuit and begging him to show mercy. Continue until you are satisfied with your work.
Thirdly, pour the Low Fat milk into the bucket, combine it with the honey, and whisk with the Bob Hawke stick until it is bubbly and has a consistency similar to cream.
Next, rub the affected areas with the velcro strip until they are raw and painful to touch.
Finally, and this is the most important step, coat yourself head to toe in the mixture. Not only the affected areas, head-to-toe.

Marinate for 3 hours in the sun and you should be fine.

[Grooter]

^^^

That.

And this:

next time leave your sluggoes out, your detainees may appreciate the swelling whilst you are giving them their next "merit card"

[spork]

Righto-got all the ingrediants, but had trouble finding a purple beret, anyone?

[daryl]

Righto-got all the ingrediants, but had trouble finding a purple beret, anyone?

the reggae outlet

[spork]

found a green beret, will that do?

[WANDERER]

Righto-got all the ingrediants, but had trouble finding a purple beret, anyone?

the reggae outlet

It's in the Beret precinct.

[haysie]

found a green beret, will that do?

Ask them!

[daryl]

found a green beret, will that do?

Ask them!

They'll be all over you with some um, tweezers?

[haysie]

They're pretty committed to the cause, you could probably get one of them to sit on your head

[spork]

They have more muscles in their jaws than I have in my arms.

[daryl]

They're pretty committed to the cause, you could probably get one of them to sit on your head

prob'ly fart atomic bombs