RealSurf Surfers' Forum

Are front zips the banana boards of 2019?

Banana boards are probably more like smooth skin rubber neoprene covering the whole anterior torso.
Slippery as fuck trying to paddle unless you've got a super sticky wax coat.

I despise my chest zip steamer, despise it. It’s the most inflexible, difficult to get out of, stupid fucken thing ever made, and all the extra complication of making it probably adds to the price.
I’m with Steve, there was never anything wrong with the back zip

DID YOU HEAR THAT, LURKING CORPOS? NO MORE FUCKEN CHEST ZIPS. THE PEOPLE* HAVE SPOKEN



* Not all of them, obvs, but enough. You can offload your suddenly redundant stock of chest zips to those thick necked mutants in Perth

Speaking as someone who hasn't actually surfed in a wetsuit for 2 years or more, I must say I'm still in favour of my long johns teamed with a fcuking FRONT zip long sleeve top to make it even easier!

Sometimes when I'm back home in winter I put them on and take them off just because I can.

Sounds like a terrific combo Cranked. No warmth benefit of course (but then you live in Australia so don't actually need a wetsuit) but endlessly stylish. Hop off the HiFly 343 and swagger straight to the cocktails

godsavethequeen wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2019 8:02 pm

DID YOU HEAR THAT, LURKING CORPOS? NO MORE fuschia CHEST ZIPS. THE PEOPLE* HAVE SPOKEN



* Not all of them, obvs, but enough. You can offload your suddenly redundant stock of chest zips to those thick necked mutants in Perth

Mildly retarded people always struggle with front zips, often their fly’s are undone too.
One thing and one thing only I will say for back zips: after having used them for many of my younger years I can still put my left arm above my shoulder blades. Reaching for the fcuking back zip string over many years was like yoga for my left arm. Other than that, back zips do nothing except let in cold winter water.

godsavethequeen wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2019 9:15 pm

Sounds like a terrific combo Cranked. No warmth benefit of course

You are exagerating GSTQ. As long as you don't go in the water its the warmest combination around.

black duck wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2019 9:26 pm

Mildly retarded people always struggle with front zips, often their fly’s are undone too.
One thing and one thing only I will say for back zips: after having used them for many of my younger years I can still put my left arm above my shoulder blades. Reaching for the fcuking back zip string over many years was like yoga for my left arm. Other than that, back zips do nothing except let in cold winter water.

Oh I don't struggle with front zips. In fact I'm sure that if you can be bothered you could find some scathingly condescending tutorials that I've attempted to deliver to steve on the very subject over the years. What is beyond dispute though is that they are more annoying to get in and out of than a back zip. If there was a significant warmth dividend then fine but there isn't. The decent back zips with the batwing that they used to put on Rip Curls, for example, didn't let any water in

(PS, you reach for the string above your kidneys - no need to do the bizarre contortions you appear to be describing)

My worst back zip had a couple of flaps inside that had to be crossed over just right or they would bulk up. All the pain of a front zip with none of the benefits.
I once cut the pull strap off a springy when I was cutting the label off.

Annoying to get in and out of? Let’s examine that for a moment or two. We are talking 3/2 steamers here, let’s be clear, although 4/3s and even 5/4s can join the fray. The most difficult component of releasing oneself from a steamer has nothing to do with chest zip or back zip, it’s the fcuking legs and ankles that cause the problem. Extricating yourself from a steamer is not difficult for the upper body, regardless of zip type. Front, back, chest or no zip it’s all relatively easy peasy. It’s geting the fcuking things off your feet that is the only real difficulty. Watching the carpark stagger is an entertainment. That hop and desperate attempt to not get carpark dirt on your wettie while trying to be cool about removing a wetsuit that is clinging to your lower legs deserves Monty python focus. Wether you remove the wetsuit at the carpark at the beach or wait till you’re in the shower at home, it’s the legs that generate the problem, not the zip.

Ah your secret’s out black duck, you have comically short upper arms, like a T-Rex.
Only people with normal length (or longer) humerus bones have trouble getting their arms out of chest zip wetsuits.

comically short arms and enormous feet by the sounds of it. I've never considered this before but perhaps he is an actual duck

You, my good sir, should be aware that my so called t-rex arms are Gowings standard length. Neither shorter nor longer.
You obviously have no flexibility or technique available, so the easy task of removing a wetsuit becomes difficult. You and shearer should team up in the carpark so you can help each other.

godsavethequeen wrote: ↑

Tue Apr 09, 2019 10:13 pm

comically short arms and enormous feet by the sounds of it. I've never considered this before but perhaps he is an actual duck

They are called wings GStQ.

Using plastic bags for the legs is big in the adult learner community, I hear. Perhaps give that a try duck? Although on thinking about it, that's probably more of an 'on' thing than and 'off' thing. Maybe instead you could pop into Uniqlo with jimmy next time he's getting the waistband on his trousers let out and ask them to put in some little zips

Do you remember when ankle zips were the norm on wetsuits? Fcuking wetsuit material was so stiff ankle zips were standard on steamers. Early to mid 80s from memory. I was quite fond of them.