Hemorrhoids and surfing

[coolone]

I’m a little bit concerned that I might get hemorrhoids from sitting on a cold surfboard in cold water. Has anyone got any experience with this that could help me out? I know if you sit on cold concrete you can shit your innards out if you’re not careful. I’ve been surfing for 4 years now and I haven’t had this problem yet but I am worried about those cold days when nobodies out.

[Surfin Turf]

yes this is a common problem and I can almost guarrentee you will have major arse issues in the future from sitting on your board ... we all get it but most don't like to discuss it ... it usually starts after about 4 and a half years so you could give up now ... or you may end up a boogie boarder like those who cant handle the pain ... :? or you just tough it out and sit on a blow up donut when ever you can ....

[spongeInside]

dude, don't believe anyone that spells Guarantee "guarrentee"..

The only reason stand-ups get problems with their arse is because many of them pound eachother after each surf..

[Toby Wan]

i fear the pictures someone is going to post..

[Surfin Turf]

dude, don't believe anyone that spells Guarantee "guarrentee"..

The only reason stand-ups get problems with their arse is because many of them pound eachother after each surf..

... you're the one lying down ...

I can garruntey you're gonna get them in any case ....

BTW ... I don't trust anyone who spells 'each other' 'eachother' ...

[bumfluff]

Coolone, surfnturf is absolutely right. I got mine after surfing for just over 4 years. I hit about 4 and 1 months and then my *arse litterally exploded with them.

Doctors call it the "4 year tears". Its ok though, they can push them back in every couple of months or you can just get them rubber banded off. You can do it yourself if you want. Theres actually a compound in urine that is said to neutralize the roid back to its former self, so my doc says to pee in my wetsuit about once a week and this seems to work for me.

[coolone]

Well errrrrrr thanks for your advice people. I thought I could come on here and get some help and all I’ve got is pictures of grapes, being called a troll, told to take up boogie boarding and that I’ve had homosexual sex.
Does nobody on here take anything seriously? Will a thicker wetsuit that is warmer stop me from getting hemorrhoids? Is there any exercise I can do to tighten up the muscles?Are there any tablets I can take? Should I limit the amount of time I spend in cold water?

I don’t want a situation one day where I find myself with a rectal issue because I haven’t taken the necessary precautions. Isn’t there anyone out there concerned about this !

Thanks in advance.

[spongeInside]

Does nobody on here take anything seriously?

Yes... erm.. no.. well it depends..

Will a thicker wetsuit that is warmer stop me from getting hemorrhoids?

Go into your local/nearest SDS store and ask them.. The kids in there know everything.

Is there any exercise I can do to tighten up the muscles?

You will get plenty of exercise in that area from your fellow stand-ups.. you can jab eachother up the arse whilst talking about how good your turns are..

Are there any tablets I can take? Should I limit the amount of time I spend in cold water?

Rohypnol.. then go straight out in cold water..

[bumfluff]

Wax retains the cold of the water. You could try not waxing the bit that you sit on......

[bc]

Many surfers use blue-tac to stop surfer's ear
-you could try using some to plug the offending orifice.
-i doubt wax would have the holding power required.

[Surfin Turf]

... I thought I could come on here and get some help and all I’ve got is pictures of grapes, being called a troll, told to take up boogie boarding and that I’ve had homosexual sex.

so what makes you any different to the rest of us ... I am under no illusions , I say that pretty much everyday on real surf ...

[still here]

1)You could always take up Jiu Jitsu instead .
It's a wanker "sport" where you you spend half the time with your head up others arses and the rest of the time with someone's head up your arse . This may de-sensitize you from the hemarroid issue ,

2) take up body boarding .... it's also a wanker sport !

3) Talk it through with Mrs KK

[doowdle]

I don't wanna be a party pooper, but i can guarantee you coolone is having you on.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Colon_(anatomy)

[Dingus]

You could buy an SUP.

[Surfin Turf]

I don't wanna be a party pooper, but i can guarantee you coolone is having you on.

oh really coolone ... well that's a crap thing to do ... that really shits me ... you don't have the intestinal fortitude to come out ... in that case blow it out you're arse then ... and so what if I can't spell ... I don't own a the-sore-arse ...

[Da Duke]

roid riddled ringstinger = Bradley B. Ruff

[DucksNuts]

Does nobody on here take anything seriously? Should I limit the amount of time I spend in cold water?

Well...since you asked:
Nope, nobody on here takes anything seriously. Thats why we have such brilliant tangent threads - there are Poo Diaries (cheers, smnmntl), and I'm pretty sure another tangents gone up that invites pictures of funny looking c0cks.

And yes, limit your time in cold water. In fact, err on the side of safety and don't come back in the water at all. I hear that not only can you get hemorrhoids from surfing, you will get chlamydia, and YOU WILL DIE.