Ask Carroll

[Gumby]

Nick,

Which 2 Kardashian sisters would you like to see take on each other in a fight to the death, and why?

Best question ever! Secretly film them fighting over dad's high heels and turn it into a reality show. 50 cent can promote it and slo-mo replays cost extra.

Firstly, it was a trick question. Of course you would throw all 3 (or is it 4? Just how many of these trollops did the chick who looks like a guy and the guy that's now a chick produce?) sisters into the Thunderdome. The above response by Little is a creative way of marketing it though. Similarly I was picturing a new reality show called "Death By Kardashian".

And then when Kanye runs in at the end, genuinely believing he is the return of Jesus Christ, will attempt to raise them all from the dead. It is at that moment when "Googled-not-as-much" Kardashian (actual given names escape me, or simply don't matter) summons one last blast of energy, grabs Kanye's head and in a blatant nod to Game of Thrones, proceeds to squeeze it until it explodes. Kanye is then entombed somewhere along with his sh1t music so we never have to hear it again, yet I'm sure he'd find a way.

[Nick Carroll]

Um since you have surfinz I assume your board can take FCS1 fins.

I would suggest the Stretch 4 set in that slightly softer glass flex material. The fin set feels v smooth and adapts to a wide range of turn types, and the material softens the feel a bit without fcuking the set up.

Ow. Just Ow.

I'm certainly no ripper but jeez nick,glass flex? Was thinking of fcs pc vs shapers carbon ones etc, as an upgrade of my surfinz.

well you were concerned about pressure on your knee. Glass flex is fine, I've used that fin material in some pretty solid surf conditions and it's worked no problem. It's not as hard core twangy like a well cut glass fin but it'll give your body a minor break.

Carbon, that's as hard a material as you'll find in fins, if you want to take the heat off then that's not the material to use. If you insist on going there I suggest the shapers DVS quad set.

[Nick Carroll]

and keep that gossip mag shit out of this thread you guys.

[crabmeat thompson]

and keep that gossip mag shit out of this thread you guys.

spewing. i was just about to ask a far reaching & consequential for us all question about gordon ramsey's inescapable and unavoidable divorce proceedings too.

[Nick Carroll]

well he's a cnut too so it's just as well.

[Davros]

Nick, do you think Kelly knows he is passed his best and wants to retire but is being convinced to soldier on due to his links with Zosea (him being a massive audience draw card and all) . Do you think if this is the case there's a risk the greatest pro surer in history may go out like a fading tennis star...think Peter Sampras. I think that would be a massive shame.

[Nick Carroll]

No I don't. Kelly writes his own ticket. Nobody can tell him what to do. The more fascinating question is, at what point will he decide to step away and how will he choose to do so. No world champion has managed this process without a fair bit of trauma, hidden or otherwise. But nobody has ever been in the position Kelly's in now. It's completely new territory. How he navigates it will not look like any of his predecessors I suspect.

[Drailed]

I think the pricing on his outerknowm range might be the trauma you speak of.

[Beerfan]

Um since you have surfinz I assume your board can take FCS1 fins.

I would suggest the Stretch 4 set in that slightly softer glass flex material. The fin set feels v smooth and adapts to a wide range of turn types, and the material softens the feel a bit without fcuking the set up.

Ow. Just Ow.

I'm certainly no ripper but jeez nick,glass flex? Was thinking of fcs pc vs shapers carbon ones etc, as an upgrade of my surfinz.

well you were concerned about pressure on your knee. Glass flex is fine, I've used that fin material in some pretty solid surf conditions and it's worked no problem. It's not as hard core twangy like a well cut glass fin but it'll give your body a minor break.

Carbon, that's as hard a material as you'll find in fins, if you want to take the heat off then that's not the material to use. If you insist on going there I suggest the shapers DVS quad set.

Ah ok now I get what you meant, sorry. As long as I stay away from snappy fast direction changes its ok. Thanks nick I'll look at the DVS fins.

[Nick Carroll]

oh come on ron. You must want to know something about Kelly Slater..

[gardie]

Hi Nick

I know you have a long time now on a board but is there
- a turn
- a wave
- a session

that stands out in your mind above everything else

I have 36 years plus on a board and there a few things that stick in my mind.

I have two backhand turns that 20 plus years on I still cant believe I pulled off

A barrel at Jakes at 15 when I couldnt even do a cutback

A session at Desert Point early nineties at 6 to 8 feet pre the big crowds which was mindboggling

Has it become a blur for you or are there things that stand out today in your mind

[Cranked]

By ranking strategies I think he means the like/dislike beloved by social media, and I guess the number of clicks for a hyperlinks. This is just simple counting, these then have to be opportioned to various categories/types of articles to attempt to discern what people like/dislike so they can be targeted.

The point is that this process is bounded and flawed because it cannot predict real human responses in other than a pretty dumb way, hence his points above

Yep I had picked that up.

I'm not on board with the general horror of AI for pretty much that reason, AI will need to go to some crazy fcuken places before it manages to predict human behaviour.

Well, I've had a bit of a think about this issue and have gone back to basics. All the web purveyers (google, facebook, the guardian, etc, etc) want us to use their services for their own motives (whatever they are). They reason that if they know more about us they can then better target their service delivery to satisfy our interests, needs, desires and wants.

The web provides access to massive amounts of data, a situation unimaginable only a few decades ago. There's all this stuff out there, its a goldmine, but how do we connect to it: rather primitively is the answer.

In their lust for our custom, the service providers want to target our specific requirements, that's great, bring it on. The more they know about me the more they will present the stuff to me that I really, really want, so the real problem is they don't know enough!

So, I can't wait for the new paradigm of a web targeted just for me! The porn, the poetry, the surf, music, books, t shirts, interesting articles.

And as a corollary, I think they should provide an impersonation option, so the more dull, ordinary, average joe, can select to get the feeds of, say, a nick carroll, a braithy or even a shearer, and live life large

[Drailed]

Nick, wheres the coldest water you have ever surfed?

[Nick Carroll]

Hi Nick

I know you have a long time now on a board but is there
- a turn
- a wave
- a session

that stands out in your mind above everything else

I have 36 years plus on a board and there a few things that stick in my mind.

I have two backhand turns that 20 plus years on I still cant believe I pulled off

A barrel at Jakes at 15 when I couldnt even do a cutback

A session at Desert Point early nineties at 6 to 8 feet pre the big crowds which was mindboggling

Has it become a blur for you or are there things that stand out today in your mind

Gardie there are so many moments, my mind just lit up with them reading your post.

Here is one that jumped forward

Second last day of the 1997 Grajagan Pro. Early morning. 10' plus south swell, sets just detonating on the launching pad like big Sunset

I went out by myself on a 6'9" Rawson swallowtail which I later gave to Maryin Daly as a oresent, another story. Anyway. Old Camel was out there already and a couple of Brazilians, Yuri Sodre and Amaury something. The Brazilians were sitting way wide, out of their depth.

Tom and Kelly also came out. My first wave was a square 10'er on the launching pad, it plunged me into speedies, I dunno how long I was barrelled for, a very long time.

Came out, kicked out and there was lifeguard Petey Johnson on a jet ski, he towed me straight back out to the peak at launching pads. Boom.

Camel got a couple then went in. For an hour, Tom, Kelly and I swapped epic set waves. It was literally surreal. You would just take off, fade a bit, turn,come up the face, bank down again, turn off the bottom and into a 100 yard barrel section.

Finally the first heat of the day, Occy vs Hoyo paddled out. To. and Kelly got their last waves and vanished down to the boat ramp. I sat outside and waited. With just a few minutes left before the heat started I got a set wave that held its size on to speed reef.

I just remember the morning sun, Occy paddling up the face and gone, and then riding off the foamball, like actually surfing the foam ball. Never touched the rail, just stood there and turned out of the hips and ankles. The wave stayed open forever. I ended up down at the boat ramp and kicked out and paddled through there on to the beach.

[Nick Carroll]

Nick, wheres the coldest water you have ever surfed?

Santa Cruz and environs, winter of 1990. Eight degrees C. It was fun though!

[Drailed]

Do you ever miss livung in the US?

[bomboraa]

Nick can you see any of Julian Wilson's longboarding heritage in his current surfing, any lines on a wave or approach to turns? Or does the equipment, or other factors - what he actually wants to do on a wave now maybe - preclude such a thing?

[138cfh]

Nick, wheres the coldest water you have ever surfed?

Santa Cruz and environs, winter of 1990. Eight degrees C. It was fun though!

That´s not cold!