I saw something that upset me the other day..WORMS!!!

[kreepykrawly]

I also would like to humbly request the moderators ban me pending any investigation into my mental stability following allegations by fellow realsurfers of ‘digitization’.

How the f-ck am I meant to surf today with such imagery ?? !!!

You people really need to take a step back and take responsibility for other peoples psychological wellbeing.

[chrisb]

Not true Woolly.
Kreepy's got a point. (I'm no doctor btw)
I had cause for such an examination last year.

He was a doctor.
Never wrote never called.
I ain't going back.

I went to that doctor. Told me to turn around and bend over for the exam, lubed me up, I felt the insertion, a bit painful, not too bad but what bothered me was that both his hands were on my hips.,
On the way out of the office after cleaning up, I checked out what looked like his diploma hanging on the wall. It was a vacuum cleaner warranty.

Man: "I've thoroughly examined every inch of your body and probed every cavity"
Woman: "So doctor, what's wrong with me?"
Man: "How would I know, I'm a lawyer".

Re: Prostate exam.
Digital insertion is the first step to see if the prostate is enlarged.
Next comes a PSA test.
If that is a high reading next comes the biopsy which will detect cancer.

Early detection is the key but there can sometimes be no obvious signs that you have it. Trouble is that if you detect it too late you can be a goner, like Johnny Ramone.

Hence the tests. So KK, the penetration hasn't been in vain (but has been a source of amusement to some of the sicker members on this forum).

[Skipper]

What Chris said.

Does it actually tickle when they do it?

What if you giggled? That might be embarrassing

Yes. And yes.

Cool to know it happened but.

But.
That's low.

[alakaboo]

not as low as the one dragging across the sand

[OddaP]

The PSA test can result in a lot of false positives ie a high PSA does not automatically mean cancer. Likewise an enlarged Prostate can be benign prostatic hyperplasia. Check the Cancer Council guidelines or prostate.org and take their advice. Old men might have prostate cancer when they die of a heart attack but do you want to be a young man dying of prostate cancer?

[kreepykrawly]

Why the hell is the prostate there !!! ....it doesn’t make sense.

Why the hell cant you just get a X ray or an MRI scan.

Surely doctors must be sick of doing that sh-t .

What happens if you’re a doctor and one of BB’s mates walks in with full wallruss moustache and wearing lederhosen with arse cheeks cut out.

If I was a doctor…. I would rip my apron off and say ‘f-ck this shit !!!’ and walk out and never come back.


I really take my hate off to them.

[Nick Carroll]

Re prostate positioning.

I think you need to blame the fcuken hippies.

Anyone with a shallow and passing knowledge of the Chakras will tell you about the one pretty much aligned with the prostate, and yes grimly it has to do with Sexual Powers.

That's right, sex, the stock in trade of all god damn hippie pretenders and their "healing" workshops.

So KK accept your fate. You are doomed to head north, to Byron, where you will be initiated into hippie hell, while shearer chortles on the sidelines.

[OddaP]

X Ray in the form of CT diagnostically useless, MRI very good when confirmed to determine extent, as diagnostic tool, expensive, time consuming and not still access to MRI confined to cities and larger regional centres.

[still here]

1) can you ask for a small finger (pinkie) instead of forefinger ?
2) Any peth for this procedure ?
3) would amyl help ?
4) what did it feel like kk ?

[Trev]

It fcuken hurts like hell.
But, like they say, the alternative is worse.

PSA test is enough to monitor it. You can have that done annually. There are guidelines for the readings based on your age group. And any sudden increases are a cause for concern. One guy I know was telling me his father (who's my age ) had his PSA reading go from normal (around 2 or 3?) to 24 in 12 months. His prognosis is not good.

The guy over the road ( a couple of years younger than I am ) had his prostate removed earlier this year. They've come a long way. He was walking round the block a week after the op.

But if you have any of the symptoms, better have the digital insertion.

And yes, most, if not all, men will suffer from either BPE or prostate cancer if the live long enough.
Then some forms are slow acting and even if untreated you can live maybe 10 or 15 years. Others can be gone in 12 months.

[otway1949]

As somebody who has had the full range of diagnostic tests. Let me talk you through it and the reasoning.

Raised PSA, prostate specific antigen , levels of which can be raise by prostate cancer, tight yellow stubby board shorts , bicycle seats and recent sex, so there are any number of factors of which only those four have some bearing on your sexuality!

If you are young with raised levels and they rise suddenly and you have Prostate Cancer it is more likely to be a more aggressive form ( genuine cause for worry. It is true that most older men on death are found to have prostate cancer but it was not the cause of death!
After a raised PSA test or if you suffer from prostatic symptoms, like incomplete urination, fluctuating stream of urine, unusual frequency of urination then itis wise to have the digital rectal examination.
KY jelly and gloves, the Dr. Is feeling for enlargement or unusual texture or nodules.
This could be benign as far as cancer goes but indicative of prostate enlargement leading to plain ordinary plumbing problems.

The next examination is a TRUS biopsy, where a device is inserted via the rectum and positioned at the prostate by ultrasound and it takes a number of needle biopsies from points around the prostate , they are are checked for cancer and its type and then decisions are made!
( in my case benign enlargement and my involvement ends after five days of bloody piss and 12 weeks of bloody black looking cum )
Next stage cancer treatments, ranging from wait and see to full removal and possibly chemo and radioactive therapy.
Among the old farts at my beach , all of the above except one you g guy who had a full contained but aggressive tumour removed, no chemo or radiotherapy needed as it hadn't spread.

Do the doctors know the answers ?NO, can you guess the answer? NO.
My question is at what levels do you let your sensitivities influence you decisions in something like this? Especially when some of the "cures" have impotence and poor urinary function as a slight risk and the range of surgery ranges from moderate expense majorly invasive stuff to much less invasive robotic but highly expensive options.

A hard and individual call to make!

[alakaboo]

It is true that most older men on death are found to have prostate cancer but it was not the cause of death!

Have to be a fairly biased sample, surely. They don't do autopsies on everybody.

Only piece of medical advice I got from my grandfather (a doctor) was "Choose an Asian woman as your GP. They live a long time so you won't have to change, and they have small hands"

[kreepykrawly]

Digits taken (all the way)

The only way I would move to Byron Bay is if they built a huge Japanese wale meat processing factory in the middle of the CBD and made me the marketing manager.

I can see it…

T shirts with “f-ck the whales…lets eat em” … “whales are made for human consumption”

And Woolies specials…buy 50 kilos of whale meat and only pay for 30

p.s no still here/totally wasted…I haven’t had the digit

and to everyone out there…big shout out

Thanks for all your marvelous insights and expertise into the challenging and very interesting subject of anal polyps.

p.ss its a pity you cant just pull out your brain and give it a good wash.

[Dingus]

Digits taken (all the way)

As in third knuckle deep? Make sure you're not facing away from anyone you love whenever you fart from now on.