Ask Carroll

[bomboraa]

no seals in Ballina so throw that one out the window.

Well a four metre white would have come across plenty of seals in its travels. Doubt they switch off targeting what may look like a seal just cause they happen to be on the north coast at the time. Opportunist hunters.

[BA]

no seals in Ballina so throw that one out the window.

Plenty of walruses though.

[el rancho]

Sharks have got a shitload of teeth and they like biting all sorts of shit

That's about the end of it - don't complicate things any further

[Mr Percival]

Crop duster full of chew toys.

[Wubic Pig]

no seals in Ballina so throw that one out the window.

Plenty of walruses though.

Yes well the Richmond River does go up as far as Lismore...

[el rancho]

Good job on the plump fiction crossover reference Mr. Percival

[Joschka]

Marine biologist Ralph Collier is one of the world's most prominent shark attack experts.
He says, don't wear bright-colored bathing suits or wetsuits, especially those that have contrasting colors.

"Sharks are attracted to bright, contrasting color,” said Collier , President of the Shark Research Committee, "White sharks can see color. We do not know what their spectrum shift is because they live in the water, but we know they have the ability. No matter what their spectrum shift might be, they’re going to see a pattern rather than just a solid image.
For a surfer or diver, wearing a black wetsuit doesn’t necessarily mean you are going to confuse a shark into thinking you are a seal. Not only do they have good visual acuity, they have a great ability to see objects against a contrasting background like a silhouette in the sense.
A diver doesn’t look anything like a pinniped, a seal or a sealion. Sharks know what they look like, from the tip of their little nose to their tail where the hind flippers are. Human beings aren’t solid, rather only solid from our head to our waist. From the waist down we have two legs, so our body – or in a sense our image - is split in half from the waist down. And seals have short flippers; we have long spindly arms. So moving through the water, we don’t even closely resemble a seal.
The thought that a white shark would mistake a 6 foot long skinny surfboard for a 1,400 pound elephant seal is highly unlikely.”

Roy taking one for the team.

[BA]

Cool photo Tom posted on Insty of you guys Nick.

[rmb]

no seals in Ballina so throw that one out the window.

Plenty of walruses though.

Yes well the Richmond River does go up as far as Lismore...

That looks like my misses. Which brings me to my next question, Nick she has asked me to do that stupid wife carrying competition in Finland next year can you recommend a good back brace that weight lifters use and also a good chiropractor. Stupid bitch is eating me out of house and home.

[godsavetheking]

rmb, it's a little unkind of you to assume that just because Nick's getting on a bit he's automatically an expert on postural aids and has a raft of musculo-skeletal practitioners on speed dial

for his age he's actually pretty sprightly, you know

[Nick Carroll]

Which brings me to my next question, Nick she has asked me to do that stupid wife carrying competition in Finland next year can you recommend a good back brace that weight lifters use and also a good chiropractor. Stupid bitch is eating me out of house and home.

ignore godsave RMB, he is just Jealous.

moving on: I feel this area is fraught with potential marital difficulties. However, in the endless power play that is modern marriage, you may have a hidden ace up your sleeve.

Your concern is for your own wellbeing. But this is only part of the issue. If your wife really wants to win this farcical race, the onus will be on her to lose every spare gram of unnecessary body fat.

You should remind her of this is a range of subtle yet unmistakeable ways: Michelle Bridges books littering the coffee table, pictures of the female ex members of the Australian swimming team (Giann Rooney etc), tubs of cottage cheese replacing the flavoured yoghurt in the fridge, that sort of thing.

At the same time, you need to work on the very element of her personality that so many wives learn to exploit mercilessly in the marriage cycle: Guilt. Join a gym. Make sure she knows you have done this and why - it's because you want to get all muscly and shit so as not to "let you down in the race honey". She knows you do not like going to a gym, yet you are doing it anyway. Dutifully head off four times a week at a certain hour. (Of course you do not have to go to the gym in this time, you can just go surfing or go around to a mate's house or whatever.)

If this does not instil the requisite amount of Guilt, then you should recruit a well known exercise physiologist. This will not be cheap, but $150 an hour will be money well spent in this case. Have the physiologist come around to your home to "advise" you and your wife on prep for the race. When she (better if it's a she) gets there, have her survey the situation, shake her head, and take your wife aside for a chat about the terrible danger she is putting you in by forcing you to strain yourself beyond endurance.

I hope this helps.

[Trev]

^
Take a bow, Nick.
That'll just about do for your psychology thesis.

[Mr Percival]

If RMB does not immediately agree to embrace and document this course of action for his realsurf brothers I propose banishment.

Can we dip into the 12k for a couple of gopro's?

[ctd]

Your concern is for your own wellbeing. But this is only part of the issue. If your wife really wants to win this farcical race, the onus will be on her to lose every spare gram of unnecessary body fat..

Speaking of which, other than with the possible exceptions of marathoners and (going the other way) sumo wrestlers, are Tour de France cyclists the least 'sexy' professional athletes? Those midget arms and protruding shoulder bones give me the creeps.

[tootr]

Paging Andy90210

[Nick Carroll]

Your concern is for your own wellbeing. But this is only part of the issue. If your wife really wants to win this farcical race, the onus will be on her to lose every spare gram of unnecessary body fat..

Speaking of which, other than with the possible exceptions of marathoners and (going the other way) sumo wrestlers, are Tour de France cyclists the least 'sexy' professional athletes? Those midget arms and protruding shoulder bones give me the creeps.

I think weightlifters outrank cyclists AND marathon runners.

[Mr Percival]

Shotput...


Womens shotput.

[steve shearer]

Nick, considering Denny (Simon Baker) grew up in a pretty robust hardcore cohort of surfers in The Ox with tone and atmospherics not too dissimilar to SWWA, what chances do you give him as actor/director/producer of Breath?