Ask Carroll

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Natho
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Natho » Sat Sep 20, 2014 6:05 pm

Mine is a rounded square but it's nothing like a Dumpster Diver. In fact Maurice's boards are nothing like anything else out there. They are purely unique.

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Davros
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Davros » Sat Sep 20, 2014 7:29 pm

Been reading up on his designs lately, pretty much for people who know what they are doing. I also read his interview about the BASE debacle, sounds like it broke his heart and it was nothing to do with the coin.

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el rancho
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by el rancho » Sat Sep 20, 2014 9:29 pm

Nick Carroll wrote:a ha ha ha ha ha ha no.

lower nose entry than some MCs, super deep concave through the guts with a slight vee behind the back fin, a lot of outline curve and a fair bit of back end rocker. Usually a swallowtail. Super fast and sharp angled turns, suited for smaller waves.

yeah well on his website description its pretty vague, doesn't mention bottom design.

besides, that sounds almost exactly like a dumpster diver

gardie
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by gardie » Tue Sep 30, 2014 8:02 pm

Nick

Is there an article in the pipeline about the total change to surf terminology used by the two key ASP commentators.

The pattern of commentary is that Joey and Pat will describe the ride in almost a horse racing commentary using terms I have never heard of and I am wondering if they are also a departure from USA surf language as well.

The replays are then commented on by Potter and Williams which I find a lot more measured and calm as they dont try and describe what we can see rather they actually try for some technical analysis.

Anyway are we going to see groms paddling back out say they just "sealed the deal" on their last wave

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offshore1
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by offshore1 » Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:02 pm

As I've alluded to recently, nobody on the North Carolina coast talks like that.
however, we do shoot the hell out of the curl.
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Nick Carroll
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Nick Carroll » Tue Sep 30, 2014 10:24 pm

Well it is a subject that's for sure.

I think the weird language being used by the move-by-move commentators in modern pro surfing webcasts does not derive from surfing at all but from a kind of shorthand common among second tier "Xtreme" sport commentators - the kind so acidly sent up by the movie "Dodgeball"

No surfer I know talks like that, not in California, not in Hawaii, not in Australia, certainly not in Brazil or any other nation in which English is a second language.

Even the tenses are weird as fcuk: future present? "He'll get out the doggy door and pop it over the foam to finish". Placing description ahead of action in this manner is just all out strange. Try it yourself, walking down the street: "He'll step over the kerb and head for his favourite coffee shop. He'll walk out carrying a double shot flat white!" People would be concerned for your mental health.

Look it's a tough job, tougher than it must seem. I guess one way to make it easier is to invent this new patois so you have something seemingly zingy and different to fall into while in commentary mode. But the problem is, it makes the whole thing seem weirdly disconnected from reality. The webcast is a world unto itself and the language spoken in it is something alien to the world we know. Maybe in a funny way, that's part of its appeal.

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godsavetheking
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by godsavetheking » Wed Oct 01, 2014 12:34 am

Give Joey his due; he's startlingly good at it. The future present flows effortlessly from his mouth like drool from a window licker, with the attempts by the second rank commentators to mimic his honeyed esoterica only pushing him to ever greater heights. I'm sure that, before being appropriated by Parnell & Co, Joe was happy to call a lip line floater a lip line floater but now all the others are at it, he's daringly trimmed it to a lip line float. Next stop presumably is a li-li-flo, before segueing to the logical end point of a wordlessly appreciative lilting hum - wordless, yet drenched in a knowing smugness and somehow still able to convey what he'll do even as we see it.

Pottz, I'm sure, is a lovely man and of course I'm fiercely proud that he was the UK's first world champ but dear god the crushing inevitability of the blindingly obvious urgently needs to be addressed. Surprise us Martin! Make it a point of honour to violently disagree with Joe at least once per heat. Sulk when proved wrong, consider storming out of the booth. Anything, anything, to break the awful tedium of the pat-pat rallies that pass for commentary and analysis.

But as Nick says, it's clearly not all that easy to get right. I believe Mr Carroll himself was mentioned in dispatches for his work a few years ago but has wisely steered clear ever since. Slater's always good value but never going to be more than a part timer. Who else? Blakey's not bad, and looks ever better compared to the current muppets, but he's - how can I put this - unmistakably Australian. Too much so for some seppo ears, I'm sure. All the others range from blandly amateur to throw-the-laptop-out-the-window offensive.

What say you Nick? Who's your dream team? And would you continue to pursue the po-faced deadly serious approach or throw a little humour in there?
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Lucky Al
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Lucky Al » Wed Oct 01, 2014 2:05 am

give godsavethequeen the job! i want to hear him say li-li-flo in a welsh accent on the tv. what do you reckon nick?

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Lucky Al
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Lucky Al » Wed Oct 01, 2014 2:13 am

this is my favourite sports event commentary: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ahEjU-BFS8c - just let us watch the thing!

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by andy2476 » Wed Oct 01, 2014 2:28 am

hey nick can I have an a apology please?
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Lucky Al
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Lucky Al » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:46 am

andy wants an apology nick. he's gay.

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godsavetheking
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by godsavetheking » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:57 am

Lucky Al wrote:give godsavethequeen the job! i want to hear him say li-li-flo in a welsh accent on the tv. what do you reckon nick?
sad to report Al that I'm more at the Lord Haw Haw end of the pronunciation scale rather than the Tom Jones end. I can do the accent, obviously, but it wouldn't be authentic. And I'm all about keepin' it real
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To tell the truth eggs are one thing I avoid buying when I’m grocery shopping. So you may say I’m an intermittent egg buyer who usually lets someone else buy them.

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steve shearer
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by steve shearer » Wed Oct 01, 2014 5:58 am

godsavethequeen wrote: Who else? Blakey's not bad, and looks ever better compared to the current muppets, but he's - how can I put this - unmistakably Australian. Too much so for some seppo ears, I'm sure.

Just on that point ....go turn your GPS on.....yes, that voice.
Australian.

The modern aussie accent is considered the most easily understandable and listenable version of english spoken today.

Which goes someway to explaning the universal admiration of Blakey. He knows his shitt and doesn't try and overplay the hand. He also has a sense of humour, something sorely lacking amongst the rest of the crew. For farks sake, Pro surfing is hilarious and these cnuts smother on the cheese so thick it's like getting caught in an avalanche of supine mediocrity.

They need more Blakeys.
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Yuke Hunt » Wed Oct 01, 2014 6:58 am

Isn't it just a case of jobs for the boys ... not what but who you know. The panel can be most nauseating at times.
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foamy
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by foamy » Wed Oct 01, 2014 8:52 am

I have watched little of the France Pro, but my mate said there was a strange desk bit with Strider just attacking each mild observation Blakey made.

I did watch the Steph/Carissa heat. The last 10 minutes, no waves ridden. Just 2 surfers bobbing. Nothing to say, everything had already been said, but Pat Parnell, talking and talking, faster and faster, this empty stream of verbiage. I have no idea what he was saying, it was just empty noise. But, I was thinking, it was probably better than silence which would have utterly exposed surfing as not providing viable general audience sports entertainment. But yes, it is a tough gig.
They need more guest commentators, to add interest to the viewer, and to add interest for the regular commentators, who endlessly repeat themselves which we would all end up doing after the first 20 hours.

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steve shearer
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by steve shearer » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:13 am

foamy wrote: Nothing to say, everything had already been said, but Pat Parnell, talking and talking, faster and faster, this empty stream of verbiage. I have no idea what he was saying, it was just empty noise.

Pro surfing> waiting for Godot.
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Beanpole
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Beanpole » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:38 am

steve shearer wrote:
godsavethequeen wrote: Who else? Blakey's not bad, and looks ever better compared to the current muppets, but he's - how can I put this - unmistakably Australian. Too much so for some seppo ears, I'm sure.

Just on that point ....go turn your GPS on.....yes, that voice.
Australian.

The modern aussie accent is considered the most easily understandable and listenable version of english spoken today.

Which goes someway to explaning the universal admiration of Blakey. He knows his shitt and doesn't try and overplay the hand. He also has a sense of humour, something sorely lacking amongst the rest of the crew. For farks sake, Pro surfing is hilarious and these cnuts smother on the cheese so thick it's like getting caught in an avalanche of supine mediocrity.

They need more Blakeys.
They don't understand Australians in Taiwan. Funny it's all Hawaii and USA Surf wise over there as well since that's the direct links for them. Billabong?
Quiksilver?
Where do they come from again?
Had a nice line of Ocean and Earth Gear over there but I don't think there was a great deal of awareness about where it came from either.
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Davros
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Davros » Wed Oct 01, 2014 9:48 am

Akin to commentating Bowls I think.

That Strider guy, yeh is a Mary contrary, he was negating one of the other US commentators the other day. Weird for a panel member not to be so agreeable...good for him I say it spices things up ala Rex Mossop and Graham Hughes back in ARU days.

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