RealSurf Surfers' Forum

The french whistler

the Hot Carl

Daddy's Mooseknuckle

etc etc ...

offshore1 wrote:The Bleached Anus. That's a marketing gold mine right there.

I'd buy a board called The Bleached Anus or maybe the Dr Jelly Finger possibly Pussy Whiskers?

"The Bleached Anus is the ultimate all round surfboard. The extra volume under your flaccid bum cheeks not only makes surfing a dream, but gives you so much speed on an open face. The outline is very similar to an old school twin fin from the nose, with a tight pin tail through the bottom giving it plenty of speed, but maintaining the ability to get into those tighter areas"

^^^^Change as required to sell "The Bleached Anus"

Funnily enough I have just slightly changed the Hypto Kryto blurb

The marketing possibilities really are endless.

The Bleached Anus.... all you need is a little water, and you're sure to find your way into a tight cavity...

The Bleached Anus... perfect for blow ins

The Bleached Anus... don't forget to wax for maximum enjoyment

And! weekend warriors, don't despair. your bleached anus is forgiving!

"Hi Crabmeat,

I'm so stoked with my Bleached Anus..."

crabmeat thompson wrote:And! weekend warriors, don't despair. your bleached anus is forgiving!

Woo hoo! We all know the best type of anus is a forgiving anus

surely 'bleached anus - for the cleanest barrel'

The Bleached Anus is waiting to give you the ride of your life. Try one today.

There's a new Gerry Lopez pintail gun at a local boardstore: 7'6 x 21" x 3.1", guessing the nose is around 12.5", tail 12"

Rails are skinny, super sharp edge almost from the middle. Shallow concave in a V. Thick stringer, full gloss and spray.

Should be an easy paddler and handle anything I might go for. $700

You'll miss the other 6" of tail width though

My zots have comparatively skinny little tails, guessing 16" or 16.5"

Cranked wrote:There's a new Gerry Lopez pintail gun at a local boardstore: 7'6 x 21" x 3.1", guessing the nose is around 12.5", tail 12"

Rails are skinny, super sharp edge almost from the middle. Shallow concave in a V. Thick stringer, full gloss and spray.

Should be an easy paddler and handle anything I might go for. $700

Trusta?

Cranked wrote:My zots have comparatively skinny little tails, guessing 16" or 16.5"

Putting the Quads on negates the tail width, no stringer fin to cause drag. rail to rail becomes just that.

My 5'4" jd groveller has an 18.5" tail . Fun board up to head high slop

Yep. Futures

surfywurfy wrote:

Cranked wrote:My zots have comparatively skinny little tails, guessing 16" or 16.5"

Putting the Quads on negates the tail width, no stringer fin to cause drag. rail to rail becomes just that.

It sure as hell worked a treat. Had the 6'8 out in head and a half this afternoon.

Nick Carroll wrote:the board matters, the fins have to fit the board. Once you find a set that fits the board, the combo works in whatever surf you wanna ride it in.

3 fins on beachies, 4 fins racing down the line