Teahupoo Contest

[crabmeat thompson]

I was always fine with any potential anus raping. I'm too pretty to die just now, though. Hence my apprehension.

[alakaboo]

You might want to rethink that braithy, orcas have penises that are up to 8ft long

Fun fact: SeaWorld in the States has a captive breeding program where they collect semen from a male orca by the trainers masturbating it with a cow vagina.

The best bit?
The orca's name is Tilikum

[crabmeat thompson]

do they use a real live cow?

this is like the bit in jurassic park where they feed a t-rex a goat, but not before the t-rex sodomises said goat.

[steve shearer]

You might not b so pretty after an amorous Orca rogered you with an 8ft pork sword.

[Bobby Dazzler]

...they're completely different beasts. lids require steeper, more powerful waves to get going and function very differently in the water.
mats have a massive amount of flotation and sit on top on the water. massive -- try duck diving the bastard! a mere ripple will send them flying. and they have a uncanny ability to find the most energy in the wave and sit in the pocket. they also absorb any bumps and irregularities in the wave.
when the waves are blown out crap, mushy crumblers or otherwise unrideable the mat flies!
also, the surf mat was invented in the 1930s at bronte beach. i'm just bringing it all back home.

Bo bo, now I know your going all Greenough on this but surely a lid covers the same territory much more easily .e.g. You dont have to pump the fcuker up.

[godsavetheking]

It's worth googling tilikum's rap sheet. He makes Braithy's rapist seem a caring and tender soul by comparison

[Nick Carroll]

Indeed. an orca is one thing, a paranoid schizophrenic orca is something else again

[spork]

Why? are you thinking of applying for one?

[Beanpole]

how do u get a job wanking off a orca

Do u have to go to uni or what

At least a Cert IV.
I'm just wondering how you would do work ex perience
It would be quite a specialised field.

[ctd]

You start off small, dogs maybe. Then cows, horses, maybe a primate or elephant. Then the big leagues.

[foamy]

You start off small, dogs maybe.

That's what dog breeders regularly do. Tie the lady dog to a heavy chair or something. Then put the gloves on and arouse the male dog. Then 'introduce' the male dog to the female dog. I kid you not. Often the dog breeders are women, which entirely incorrectly, makes it seem even weirder to me.

[ctd]

Bulls (I guess not cows!) and elephants are manually done as well, although I think racehorses has a law against it. But normal horses probably have it. There are electric prods that are used, inserted to the prostrate region and the right amount of shock and out it pops from the custard cannon.

[swvic]

You guys know too much

[Beanpole]

Great passage in Tom Wolfes novel A Man in Full about horse breeding.
I guess it's one area that its easy to practise.
Don't know if whacking off an elephant would be considered as a preliminary exercise. It would seem a major achievement in itself if you were working in that field. Bit like mountain climbing I suppose.

[Bobby Dazzler]

it's who you know, not what you know. you're wasting your time servicing little dogs and small primates.