Teahupoo Contest

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bomboraa
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by bomboraa » Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:44 pm

The problem with competitive surfing in the perfection we've just seen in Tahiti is that the great masses cannot distinguish between what's a winning wave and what's not. They appreciate the spectacle, but as a contest, where there is a winner and loser, they are lost. They'll watch a spectacle only briefly, where as they might watch a battle between two athletes for longer. Kelly's last wave in the final where he lost by .3 leaves them baffled. The actual riding of waves all looks the same to them. Hell, the scoring left many surfers baffled. And the three commentators (sorry Occ) are almost a parody of sport commentary.

alakaboo
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by alakaboo » Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:54 pm

My kids watched some highlights:
That man went hiding inside the wave, and then he came out again!
It wasn't very good hiding, I knew where he was.
Daddy can do that.
No, I can't. That's a very dangerous wave.
But you've got heaps of surfboards.
What are all those boats doing?
People are on the boats watching the surfers
And then will they have a go of hiding?
No, they are just watching, and the competition is nearly over.
What happens when it is over?
One man gets lots of money and then everyone is allowed to surf again.
Can we watch the movie about the baby seals again, this is not a good one.

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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Yon Beasty » Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:15 pm

I somewhat agree with the boring as batshit for the non surfer view point. I get it - feel the same way about a lot of sports including surfing sometimes.

But I also feel there is a real lack of imagination here.

As obscene on multiple levels as it is...the wave pool stadium potentially could offer a quantum leap regards the visual televised offering – the likes of which we can barely imagine both above and below the water.

Build that 100 million multi wave pool stadium, complete with tracking camera’s above and below the water. Watch the full length wipe out below the water. Watch the multi-million dollar pro athlete get completely worked. Imagine the cynics lining up to see the golden haired JJF get his comeuppance.

The lighting you could achieve, lasers, spotlights the whole tragedy.

Hell you could dye the water so it looks like they’re surfing a sulphur lake on one of jupiter’s moons.

Leave nature behind, with the connection to the ocean that’s so yester-year.

In all seriousness, the truth from a commercial perspective is nature is holding the sport back. It’s the enemy of consumable televised product. Forget lay days, they’ll insert add breaks. Forget camera footage from 20-100 feet away – with camera’s setup by professionals in a secure setting you’re looking right into Fanning’s eyes as he takes the drop.

Pumping 15-20 foot waves, but why stop at 20 foot...imagine the wipe-outs, 30 second plus hold downs...the live drama when the diving team rushes up from the bottom to secure an unconscious surfer and resuscitate him.

And you don’t start at 15-20 foot, in episode 1 you start at 6 foot and you build to the finale over the 10 episodes where you push the wave pool facility, the best modern technology can offer, to its limits.

And basic standard stuff such as SMS your favourite surfer to go into the next round for a $1 an SMS. Professional judges would only be used to ensure it didn’t turn into a beauty pageant, just to usher the real talent through the first couple of rounds to where the public has complete autonomy.

Sure you’d have to use the surfing sparingly, because product placement would be limited, so most of the time the camera could follow the athletes around as they went about their lives and preparation for the event. Like watching JOB.

Each season (competition) only needs to be 10-12 half hour episodes (excluding adds), with a finale.

No doubt some may scoff but in all seriousness this is definitely doable from a financial perspective but it hinges on lifting the quality of the visual televised product and securing mass funding from the public (e.g. SMS).

Yes this last event was bloody fantastic, but the camera angles due to the “nature” are limited and therefore the visual product is limited from a commercial perspective.

I’m surprised no one has grabbed this sport by the balls and raped it on this scale – God help us.

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Trev
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Trev » Thu Aug 28, 2014 4:18 pm

alakaboo wrote:My kids watched some highlights:
That man went hiding inside the wave, and then he came out again!
It wasn't very good hiding, I knew where he was.
Daddy can do that.
No, I can't. That's a very dangerous wave.
But you've got heaps of surfboards.
What are all those boats doing?
People are on the boats watching the surfers
And then will they have a go of hiding?
No, they are just watching, and the competition is nearly over.
What happens when it is over?
One man gets lots of money and then everyone is allowed to surf again.
Can we watch the movie about the baby seals again, this is not a good one.
'Boo, you've (well your kids have) excelled yourselves.
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steve shearer
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by steve shearer » Wed Sep 10, 2014 1:19 pm

Nick Carroll wrote:.

the thing with surfing is that it's a great sport, like a really great sport. One of the world's great sports..
This went whistling through the keeper.........

I strongly disagree. It has rare, very, very rare moments of greatness but the overwhelming majority of "surfing as sport" from the amateur to the elite pro level is dross.

Thats the inherent problem with it.

You can get the best downhill skiers on a mountain and you'll get majority of elite performance.

You get the Top32 on a Ten event world tour and you might get five percent elite greatness if you are lucky and 95% dross. Heat by heat, event by event.
Case in Point , apart from Teahupoo this year has any of the Tour really elevated itself into great sport?
J-Bay had the potential but apart from Curren and Wilko it was strangely underwhelming. The rest barely rates a mention. Snapper, Margies, Bells, Rio, even Fiji; all very forgettable.
Teahupoo is the exception that proves that rule.
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crabmeat thompson
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by crabmeat thompson » Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:27 pm

Surfing is the greatest life pursuit a person could challenge themselves with. Or, it's the worst sport imaginable.
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Bobby Dazzler
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Bobby Dazzler » Wed Sep 10, 2014 4:34 pm

any one have any opinions about when, if ever, the "sport" of surfing was great? or even good?
the 80s? the 70s with the 2sm/coke surfabout comps? before that when it was local boardrider clubs competing?

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PeepeelaPew
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by PeepeelaPew » Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:04 pm

...
Last edited by PeepeelaPew on Wed Nov 05, 2014 1:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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swvic
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by swvic » Wed Sep 10, 2014 5:04 pm

It was great at club level when I was doing it. Getting shitty because you were underscored or someone getting shitty with you because you underscored them. Great days

Best one was some old ASA comp at Phillip Island. I had to judge a couple of heats. One was loaded and happened to have two good surfers from our club in it. Another cnut stupidly went right on every wave which everyone knows is a left (Right Point at Phillip Island). I was getting changed for my heat when the cnut (yeah, you, Pretzel) came and had a go. I'd just had some nice hash on a coke can which mellowed me a bit. I'm still spewing I never punched the cnut in the face. How juvenile is that?
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Nick Carroll » Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:27 pm

I think you all have a profoundly retarded idea of sport. I'm not just talking about the fcuken WCT. I am talking about the sport of surfing. It has thousand year old roots in Polynesian culture. It has driven kings insane and caused princes and princesses to fall in love despite the obstacles between them. It's been gambled over, broken spirits and made them, re-shaped countless lives, and prospered wherever it's been propagated, even in the most bizarre and unlikely places. Even in our own pissant 50 years or so, which you all seem to think are so fcuken all fired important, it's inspired some of the craziest behaviour you'll find in humans, provided a basis for a worldwide industry with numerous facets, and sucked literally millions of people into its salty web - including the lot of yas. Who I daresay have all been pushed to your absolute limits by its seductive and unconquerable demands.

Yeah this is a great fcuken sport, if you can't see that well tough shit. Indeed what the hell are you even doing around it. Go and do something else you think is great for fcuk's sake.

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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Drailed » Wed Sep 10, 2014 7:45 pm

Chill bro.
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steve shearer
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by steve shearer » Wed Sep 10, 2014 9:41 pm

No, Nick has refined the meaning of sport.....this is an issue of semantics.

I take that back and concur completely.
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Bobby Dazzler » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:09 pm

i apologise for offending you nick. i was genuinely curious about steve's criticism of professional standup surfing as it is now.

some of you standups are are a touchy lot. you wouldn't last a day on a kneeboard with skin that thin. :lol:

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crabmeat thompson
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by crabmeat thompson » Wed Sep 10, 2014 10:37 pm

Yeah well so is gaming, but I don't see gamers in here squawking like roosters.

Just think about that.
Kunji wrote:
Wed May 27, 2020 8:09 am
Would you mind throwing in a little more homoeroticism

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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by Nick Carroll » Thu Sep 11, 2014 7:06 am

I feel like I am allowed to wig out in here every now and then.

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crabmeat thompson
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by crabmeat thompson » Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:22 am

Nick Carroll wrote:I feel like I am allowed to wig out in here every now and then.

It was quite possibly the most articulate, passion-embracing wigout I've read here. As I was scrolling down your post I was half expecting an upside down photo of your cock.

I almost feel guilty for winding you up.
Kunji wrote:
Wed May 27, 2020 8:09 am
Would you mind throwing in a little more homoeroticism

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godsavetheking
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by godsavetheking » Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:33 am

Pro surfing is boring. But it's boring in the way that Test match cricket is and as long as the ASP embraces this, everything will fine. For the most part this will mean frequent cutaways to tipsy students bobbing in the channel inexplicably dressed as crusading knights, sponsor-provided '10' and 'ouch' cards for spectators to limply flutter after perfect waves and brutal hammerings, a tea interval during which a couple of village idiots from the ex-professional ranks will mirthfully bant harmless innuendo for twenty minutes and, most importantly, a largely uninterrupted silence from the commentary box.

Waves shall not be described in micro detail using an ill-advised Future Present tense. The significance of minor happenings will not be speculated upon by a man for whom successfully delivering a coherent sentence without lapsing into mangled metaphor remains an ongoing challenge. There will be no Americans, unless Brad Gerlach is willing to reprise his exasperated single issue shoulder-turn masterclass during lunch.

And occasionally, just occasionally, bursts of unmanufactured genuine excitement will spring forth, briefly elevating the spectacle to an altogether higher plane. All the ASP needs to do is make sure you're not watching an advert for fucking boardshorts when it happens
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steve shearer
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Re: Teahupoo Contest

Post by steve shearer » Thu Sep 11, 2014 8:45 am

mangled metaphors are my favourite thing about Pro Surfing.

In fact, If I was naming the Tour I would call it the the ASP Mangled Metaphor World Championship Tour.
I want Nightclub Dwight dead in his grave I want the nice-nice up in blazes

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