Renaming surf breaks

[ajohnsen]

I've often wondered (and that's a lie in itself) if a wave was a writer, what writer would it be? What do you reckon? Would Shipsterns be Bukowski?

For example, I'd rename Teahupo'o, Bernhards after Thomas Bernhard who was obsessed with death, or maybe JJs (James Joyce) because it sure as sh!t looks like a complex and difficult wave to ride.

Waimea Bay should be Ernest's Bay because it's an old-school man's wave.

Collaroy Point is Akerman's Intractable Point because Piers Akerman is a Right-wing bloated toad and most people who read him quickly realise there's much, much better stuff out there and only those who hang around are lazy and fearful of what lies beyond.

What about Pipeline, Snapper, Mavericks?

[Slowman]

I heard all the hydroponic stuff these days is very potent.

[steve shearer]

Shhheeeez.......Bernhards??????????

Sounds like a gay Irish bar run by a German in the Castro.

[kayu]

I heard all the hydroponic stuff these days is very potent.

....time to go bush AJ , for your own sanity......try the red dirt.....the Zircon encrusted tweezers were very short lived and wont be makin a comeback for a long time.......

[ajohnsen]

That bad, huh? I thought there might've been one, maybe two takers...


...no?


I'll get my coat.

[buzzy]

I'd rename anywhere I surfed with suitably fear inducing names.

Manly would become "Death reef".

Fairy Bower would become "Paraplegic Point".

Curly would become "Spine snap wedge" (yes, the whole beach).

Long reef would become "You'll almost certainly die if you surf here."

Over on the East Side;

Bondi would become "Bone smasher beach."

Bronte Reef would become "Granite will spear into your brain reef."

Tamarama would become "Certain to be sexually assaulted here." That might be an attraction.

[steve shearer]

In honour of Michel Houllebecq (whos not at all nihilistic IMO; he's comic. Is there anything funnier than the meaningless existence of his cube monkey in Whatever?.....weariness? could there be anything more representative of our western culture than this??)
I find him a tremendous tonic.

Anyhow, I'm sure he would approve if we move to rename OUrs as C..untstains.

[purple pyramids]

Bronte Reef would become "Granite will spear into your brain reef."

granite? are you sure?

[ajohnsen]

In honour of Michel Houllebecq (whos not at all nihilistic IMO; he's comic. Is there anything funnier than the meaningless existence of his cube monkey in Whatever?.....weariness? could there be anything more representative of our western culture than this??)
I find him a tremendous tonic.

Anyhow, I'm sure he would approve if we move to rename OUrs as C..untstains.

Steve, how about a nihilistic comic?

[alakaboo]

i'm sure. That it's not.

[steve shearer]

Steve, how about a nihilistic comic?

There's a few of them isn't there. What about Crumb?

[ICARUS]

Snapper Rocks = Ben Elton

INCONCEIVABLE

GRIDLOCK

[still here]

Warriewood is Wallywood
Manly is Girly
Long Reef is Wrong Beach
Palmy is Wankers Arm
Maroubra is Jail Breaks

[ajohnsen]

Warriewood is Wallywood
Manly is Girly
Long Reef is Wrong Beach
Palmy is Wankers Arm
Maroubra is Jail Breaks

Or, to put it another way...

Warriewood is Wilbur Smith
Manly is Helen Fielding
Long Reef is Helen Demidenko
Palmy is Bret Easton Ellis
Maroubra is James Elroy

[ajohnsen]

Oh, and Brownwater is unpublished.

[buzzy]

Bronte Reef would become "Granite will spear into your brain reef."

granite? are you sure?

Geez, being pretty literal there aren't you? Anyway, "granite" sounds tougher than "sandstone". Not that I've every devoted a lot of attention to the precise geomprphology of Bronte reef. I'm simply too concerned with preserving my life, wearing 6 Gath helmets and a motor cycle back protector. Even then at anything over a foot or so it's simply too dangerous for a highly skiiled surfer to take on safely. Better to sit on the beach sipping takeaway chai latte.

[Elmako]

The inside section at Bells : Rincon.

I think we can be a bit more creative than that !!! FFS

[Beanpole]

Dunno but I wish someone would blow up that ugly pseudo third reich eagle on top of Kirra Hill. Yeah I know its an icon but it must be one of the ugliest bits of public sculpture in Australia. Right up there with Ken Unsworths Poo Sticks at the Cross.