Ask Carroll

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Nick Carroll
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Nick Carroll » Thu Jun 04, 2015 7:18 pm

A man with no commitments will have an entirely different kind of mid life crisis.

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Mr Percival
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Mr Percival » Thu Jun 04, 2015 7:33 pm

That's a green light in my book of mixed signals!

Speaking of, I've now read TC. I picked it up in an airport. That bit where you rented for a while was a real surprise.

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steve shearer
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by steve shearer » Thu Jun 04, 2015 7:42 pm

btw I don't feel this as any kind of escape from committment, quite the opposite.
I want Nightclub Dwight dead in his grave I want the nice-nice up in blazes

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steve shearer
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by steve shearer » Thu Jun 04, 2015 7:43 pm

Yes, could you tell us more about the affair and the renting that followed. Not salaciously. But properly?
asking respectfully.
I want Nightclub Dwight dead in his grave I want the nice-nice up in blazes

Nick Carroll
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Nick Carroll » Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:11 pm

hmm well I want to write about this somewhere else, in some other context.

so I'll keep it brief.

I met a woman, someone I found very attractive, but who in other circumstances may not have had quite the effect on me that she had.

As it was I had felt deeply unfulfilled in my marriage for some time, I think mainly because my distorted picture of what womanhood owed me was out of sync with reality.

So there was a big hole in my life and also a thoroughly unhealed emotional wound, a crack in the powerful picture of myself that I'd erected in the face of the world, and suddenly it felt as if everything had become unbearable.

to me this woman presented as an answer to a question that'd lain unasked in me for longer than I could guess or imagine.

I went in all the way and it burned me all the way through. Destroyed every illusion I'd had about myself.

All the people closest to me were hurt, some badly, the woman as much as most. I've done a lot to repair the damage but it remains the most scarring and shameful experience of my life.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Beanpole » Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:15 pm

How long did it go on for, if you don't mind me asking?

Nick Carroll
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Nick Carroll » Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:18 pm

umm all up from start to finish, three years?

The affair bit maybe a year and change.

The renting was actually the best part of it. I had space to reconnect with myself and while a lot of the time was incredibly lonely and sad, it did feel new and I did a lot of growing up in a short time. Almost as if I were able to live a piece of my life that I'd missed the first time.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Beanpole » Thu Jun 04, 2015 8:24 pm

So, no regrets then.....just kidding.

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Davros
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Davros » Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:09 pm

thats a real interesting comment "what women hood owes you". A women only owes her children. End of story. We, men, aren't creditors in any way shape or form.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by rmb » Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:21 pm

So what/who does a man owe?

Nick Carroll
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Nick Carroll » Thu Jun 04, 2015 9:44 pm

i'll tell you what I don't owe you, is any further explanation, elucidation or really anything more about this subject.

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Davros
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Davros » Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:05 pm

Fair enough.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by rmb » Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:14 pm

Nick Carroll wrote:i'll tell you what I don't owe you, is any further explanation, elucidation or really anything more about this subject.
Don't know if you misinterpreted the context of the question Nick? It wasn't aimed to be directed towards your own personal story rather Davros's comment following that.
Davros wrote:thats a real interesting comment "what women hood owes you". A women only owes her children. End of story. We, men, aren't creditors in any way shape or form.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Jorgo » Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:24 pm

That's a very open, brave and honest piece earlier on Mr Carroll. I often wondered over the previous years whenever the subject was broached in any forum by other members, why/that your opinion was so strident - and short for a man of your wordsmithing capability. Perhaps you've solved that now if it needed solving.
Indeed No further explanation req'd

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Davros
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Davros » Thu Jun 04, 2015 10:38 pm

For fuschia sake it wasn't a commentary on Nicks experience I thought the statement was very thought provoking and God forbid got me reconciling my own experiences. The writer without intention helped me pick open a gangrenous scab. No offence meant to anyone.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by diggerdickson » Thu Jun 04, 2015 11:43 pm

Nick
Do you have a preference for how far up the board you like your clinkers to go....
no, Im not a surfer, Im just a garbage man".

Nick Carroll
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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Nick Carroll » Fri Jun 05, 2015 5:37 am

Ah I don't know really. AB had a ratio of some sort figured out. Not as long as say Phil Myers or Jim Pollard. I think it's more about fitting them into the other aspects of the board, mainly the rocker.

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Re: Ask Carroll

Post by Natho » Fri Jun 05, 2015 10:30 am

"A women only owes her children. End of story".

Well you can shove that statement right up your a$$ Davros.
My wife owes me plenty:

- An explanation on why she walked out on our marriage with no warning or discussion and did it over the phone when I asked when she was coming back.
- An explanation on why she used her father to go me for money within 2 days without any discussion or thought to custody and the future of our son.
- An explanation on why she was seen with another bloke in the weeks leading up to her walking.
- An explanation of why when I organised a meeting to discuss our sons future she sent her father to hit me up for how much money he could take instead.
- Valuable time with my son which to date she has denied me of.
- An explanation why as soon as I was diagnosed and started treatment for a bought of depression she turned her back on me straight away and offered zero support.

What she does also owe our child is the right to spend valuable time with his Dad as much as possible.

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