Ask Carroll

[andy2476]

Nick are you a Tard

[Nick Carroll]

Well I don't feel like a Tard.

But I suppose it is for others to decide.

[andy2476]

Mmm that doesn't help too much

[godsavetheking]

Nick, I see that the ex-Billabong fella has launched a brand called Vissla? Do you think he named it after that smallest of the all-round pointer-retriever breeds, the Hungarian Vizsla?

And so to my serious question. Surfing has a disproportionate amount of pretty blonde boys; what proportion of them dye their hair, and why?

[Nick Carroll]

Well it's either that or a badly constructed anagram for "saliva"

I note in conversation with a surf biz reporter, Paul stated that he would be restricting the company's growth to $100 million in sales. It almost makes me want to start taking bets on what its sales figures will be in, say, three years.

Anyway on to the more pressing topic of blond hair in surfing, I don't know about Wales etc but in the 1960s it was quite a popular pastime among Australian surfie kids to bleach their hair blond with peroxide dilutions. If only they knew that polyester resin's marvellous catalyst, MEKP (methy ethyl ketone peroxide) could achieve the same result. The long term effects of such bleaching have never been studied but by the 1970s most kids had discovered that salt water and sun did an equally effective job over time. These days of course with the gradual ageing of the surf population, the shave-bald or close cropping look has taken over large swathes of the lineup but the long bleached tip look has made a big comeback among the grommets, perhaps as a sort of generational "fcuk you" - I hope it's that anyway.

[Trev]

The long term effects of such bleaching have never been studied

It sent you bald.

[Beanpole]

I believe lemon juice was also used on occasions for bleaching.
My own hair is starting to thin a tad and on a couple of occasions I've copped a lot of sun on the top which has started me thinking about cutting it short for ease of sunscreen application. My local barber tends towards the bouffant which makes things more complicated. I think its compensation for him being bald as a badger.

Now on another important topic. I have been thinking recently, because I've been trying to buy a pair of shoes for my duck feet, about the fact that most people have one foot slightly bigger than the other. Do you think this corresponds to whether someone is natural or goofy?

[Trev]

I believe lemon juice was also used on occasions for bleaching.
My own hair is starting to thin a tad and on a couple of occasions I've copped a lot of sun on the top which has started me thinking about cutting it short for ease of sunscreen application. My local barber tends towards the bouffant which makes things more complicated. I think its compensation for him being bald as a badger.

Now on another important topic. I have been thinking recently, because I've been trying to buy a pair of shoes for my duck feet, about the fact that most people have one foot slightly bigger than the other. Do you think this corresponds to whether someone is natural or goofy?

Good point beanie.
My left foot is bigger than my right And I'm a natural footer.
Over to you Nick.
One of each in the family.
Get out there measuring feet.

[Nick Carroll]

I have been thinking recently, because I've been trying to buy a pair of shoes for my duck feet, about the fact that most people have one foot slightly bigger than the other. Do you think this corresponds to whether someone is natural or goofy?

No, I don't.

Think about it cowboy. How much time do you spend standing on a surfboard? I bet it isn't even two minutes a day.

Compare that to the amount of time you spend walking around the place. Like, HOURS a day.

Now trev may be a special case what with that electric cart he gets around in but people under the age of 90 put in more feet time just going to Coles.

Human asymmetry is an evolutionary advantage not a product of trying to get barrelled.

[Beanpole]

Nah, that's the opposite of what I was suggesting there, nick. I'm wondering if your preference for right or left foot forward corresponds to which is bigger.

[BA]

I'm a goofy but my left foot is bigger.

[Beanpole]

Well that was the other part of the question I was wondering about. If it was true would you put the big one in front or behind?
I'm tending to think big one at the back since you would use it to steady yourself when standing up.

[Trev]

Hi Nick,
Who out of the Newport crew in 'the day' possessed the greatest ability in being able to spit the winkle? Did yourself or the little Goblin ever display such a talent?

I don't think any of the Newport crew were as truly gifted as the Maroubra crew at Spit The Winkle. We tried, but didn't really have the same flair. Maybe it was just practice. We mastered other skills though, like sticking a lighted match in the end of your cock and running around with it on the dance floor, often setting fire to our pubes in the process - that sort of thing.

^^^^^^^^

Is that in the book?
I looked in Big wubblwwoo today.
Wasn't on show.

Just a massive table of Ricky Ponting's tome taking pride of place. <:

There is a lot more than that in the book.

Sorry trev, neither I nor Tom play cricket, so we probably don't make the quality cut for Big W.

Natho I don't care if people pay $4 for it if they read it.

BA perversely, in perfect barrels you can ride pretty much anything as long as it fits in the tube. But you can tell a lot about a board's qualities in takeoff and post-barrel slash mode.

You've made the grade Nick

$22 and several copies (now one less ) on display in BigW today.

[pinhead]

Nick. I notice that when I do a search for ASL, in addition to the Australian Surfing Life magazine website, asl.org.au
the website for the Australian Society of Limnology (A scientific society whose focus is the study and management of inland waters) also appears in the results. When you tell people you work for ASL, do you get peppered with questions about inland waters? I imagine you've experienced quite a few awkward conversations where you've tried to answer questions about fresh water ecology while wondering why the hell are they asking me this stuff?

[Nick Carroll]

Well that was the other part of the question I was wondering about. If it was true would you put the big one in front or behind?
I'm tending to think big one at the back since you would use it to steady yourself when standing up.

Christ are you sure this doesn't belong in the tard thread.

[Nick Carroll]

Nick. I notice that when I do a search for ASL, in addition to the Australian Surfing Life magazine website, asl.org.au
the website for the Australian Society of Limnology (A scientific society whose focus is the study and management of inland waters) also appears in the results. When you tell people you work for ASL, do you get peppered with questions about inland waters? I imagine you've experienced quite a few awkward conversations where you've tried to answer questions about fresh water ecology while wondering why the hell are they asking me this stuff?

This has never happened to me but by God I look forward to the day it does.

[Beanpole]

Well that was the other part of the question I was wondering about. If it was true would you put the big one in front or behind?
I'm tending to think big one at the back since you would use it to steady yourself when standing up.

Christ are you sure this doesn't belong in the tard thread.

Okay I am sensing some mild scepticism in regard to my hypothesis here. Don't you think most people have one foot slightly bigger than the other, Nick?

[godsavetheking]

Well it's either that or a badly constructed anagram for "saliva"

I note in conversation with a surf biz reporter, Paul stated that he would be restricting the company's growth to $100 million in sales. It almost makes me want to start taking bets on what its sales figures will be in, say, three years.

IMPORTANT UPDATE: 'Vissla' means 'whistle' in Swedish, according to Google translate. Intriguingly, IKEA has a soft, comfortable, anti-slip bench pad called VISSLA. Would you think Mr Naude and his associates were armed with these facts when they were running ideas up the flagpole at the bluesky brand meeting? I may be overreaching here, but could it be a subtle "Hey Billabong, you can go whistle! You're deep in the shit and I'm here reclining on my soft and comfortable anti-slip bench pad"