RealSurf Surfers' Forum

A collective of the worst toilets ever known to man and beast during surf trips.

#1 The toilet plumbing at a tinpot motel on Nusa Lembongan (island off east coast of Bali)
During the day whilst left alone, our toilet bowl would mysteriously produce extra turdage.
We would flush, it would disappear. then during the day more turd would appear but it would be completely different to the flushed ones from earlier.
It turned out that all seven apartments poop plumbing was connected to one another.
so if you flushed the p00p, it would just pop up in next doors pan.
I swear there was a floater that revisited us for a month before finally departing.

#2 Lorne VIC free campsite on big hill.
The standard aussie bush toilet. the pan over a big stinking hole in the ground, signs saying close the lid because of snakes and such.
anyhow this toilet has been visited by the worst of the worst.
it is quite possibly the worst smell ever known to man (like PURE AMMONIA)
its so bad that the fumes that rise up from the bowels of this hell pit, actually sting your eyes, like cutting an onion.
you have to push, drop and wipe in one breath.

we stayed at a losmen in Sumba, Sumbawa, on the bottom floor.
worst place i've ever stayed, on a whole range of criteria.

the floor above wasn't plumbed all the way to the outside, but the pipe ran down the side of our bathroom, then stopped about 15cms above the floor. then there was just a drop through to the drain, which doubled as the drain for our shower?!!.

anyway, sometime during the night, the mob upstairs must have had some sort of gastrointestinal catastrophe. they accompanied it with lots of paper, which caused a blockage in the drain on our floor. they then both had showers in the morning, before we woke.

my mate got up first and went to have a slash. he yelled "quickly, put some shoes on, grab your stuff and let's get the f#ck out of here!"
i'm not a morning person, but we'd already had some pretty weird adventures on that trip so I didn't argue.

I checked what the problem was, to see that there was about 10cms of brown water full of floating chunks of paper and turd. it was about 3cm below the lip of the doorstep, rising rapidly! It was about 5 minutes from disaster!

we legged it, and could laugh about it later.

Not really a surf trip toilet, but Patong beach 2007. The shit we were flushing was coming back through the plumbing into the tap head in the bath... Had to move rooms because of the 'minor plumbing issue', we were told. I think bathing in your shit is not 'minor', but hey what would a western wide eyed dog know

Aint as exotic as Indo, but lets just say I won't be going to the toilet at Bomaderry maccas ever again. Quarter pounders everywhere, staff still happily letting people in the doors.

Across the road from the todd tavern in Alice springs lies the most foul and wretched toilet known to man.

True story. went in to the male toilet looking for a kid hiding there from the police.

Poo everywhere, in the sink, in the bin in the trough wiped on the walls. Nappies stuck to the walls. I heard from a co worker oneday they were in the womans side and low and behold, she stood in a fetus.

Not cool

G land 2008
i am trying to get some sleep while matt vanguard is tuning this surfer chick.
someone goes to the toilet and comes running back out"theres a snake in the toilet, theres a snake in the toilet"
then they get the indos who all come to have a look.
there is some commotion while someone gets a torch,
i am still in bed and this is happening right next to the bedroom wall.
eventually some indo says its a mongoose that has drowned drinking out of the toilet and fallen in, tail hanging out.

the indo dude grabbed it by the tail and disposed of it on the reef.

the toilets back at bobbies camp in 97 however were a hole in the ground with paving stones either side and a bucket for used toilet paper.
around this was a rudimentary bamboo wall.

nuffink ngo wrote:

Braithy wrote:Across the road from the todd tavern in Alice springs lies the most foul and wretched toilet known to man.

True story.

Surf good there?

I rode a mini mal from in the todd river telegraph station to Old Timers camp at Xmas during the floods. Had to dodge some turds (literally) and a few dead animals. I didn't get pitted, but I had fun

Worst dunny I have seen was riding in economy class in a train heading south from Cairo to Luxur in Egypt.

Pi.ss and sh.it everywhere, walls, floors - fcuking everywhere.

I just dropped my dacks, squatted and let the previous nights remnants of a dodgy kebab spray the joint like mud being blasted from a fire hose

Word of advice fellow travellers - baby wipes. Small enough to pack into a napsack when you're on the go plus they're cool and soothing for a tattered date

Possibly mentioned in another thread somewhere, as there is a lot of poo talk in these here parts.

4-shi.tter toilet block in a rural town. The two entry doors kicked in, each of the four stall doors kicked in and all lying there on the floor in a mess. The plumbing had given up at some stage and each of the toilet bowls were filled to their brims with piss and sh.it and a line of turds began in front of each bowl and continue out of the stalls as someone has come in and dropped one a step in front of the last - on top the kicked down doors and whatever was laying in the way. All just sitting there baking in the heat.

It was in a primary school to boot.