What makes a surfer a GRUMBLE BUM ?

[puurri]

Definite gunagilah ehzzzzzzzzzzzzz?

[Larry]

puuri, mate - cut out the elitist business will you please - I'm trying to marry this forum bullshit to a Rachmaninov recording of the 15 vespers and me equilbrium is being disturbed no thanks to you

[Larry]

ringman, ring your mum will you please, she was always hoping you would not grow up and be a rude b.stard and now she needs an explanation

[Beanpole]

Reminds me of the joke about the guy who goes to the doctor and says "Doc, I've got this problem. I can't stop farting but theres no smell and it doesn't make any noise."

Okay says the doc, take these tablets and see me in a week.

The guy comes back and the doc asks him if theres been any change.

The guy says he's still farting all the time but now it smells really bad.

"Good", says the doctor"We've fixed your sense of smell now we'll work on your hearing."

[aitch]

A mate of mine has a thunda box out the back, although his missus has sprung me coming round the corner with the tracks in hand. Before that emergency, early session, cranking surf/curry poos were dealt with round at the Quix.

PS
Classic thread

[8]

I was going to change the subject here to the difficulties of maintaining a good breeding position after a long cold winter session , but you blokes have run away with the subject somewhat.

Just on that- you ever had a nut caught in "the pocket" on a cold day? It's like puberty in reverse, no fckn good for paddling either.......

[ric_vidal]

I’m not sure there has been sufficient respect and or help provided to Laz regarding this very real and somewhat distressing problem.

Something that many of us have had to deal with on occasion.

Now Laz, perhaps you should be in the search for an early opener? Partition your local member?

I always find lubricant works, you know tea or coffee, preferably not with your morning Nurofen +. Man those things will turn sh*t into bricks.

I wish you well in your endeavour.

[Larry]

- and of course we must not forget the smart application of agony when a graceful lurch into the water, after a badly concieved and failed manoeuvre at speed, turns nasty when a testicle cops a rude smack from the ocean surface - You know you want to look at the damage, but how impossible is that ?

[creased]

What about the high speed flick out, off the back of the wave to land prone on your board for a head start paddleing only to recieve the nausiating result of the pelvis, fibreglass and testicle sandwich. Followed by repeated feeble attempts pressing and proding to lure the now embeded little suckers from your nethers.

[ric_vidal]

testicular trauma

nice work schmental, I think we can drop that in conversation from time time.

Another one I heard recently was ‘designer vagina’. You may want to get your head around that one.

[marcus]

testicular trauma

nice work schmental, I think we can drop that in conversation from time time.

Another one I heard recently was ‘designer vagina’. You may want to get your head around that one.

thats strange
ive heard of guys having that happen but never had it happen to myself, that and wet dreams.
they never said at school that maybe youll never have a wet dream.
are they lieing to us?

[WANDERER]

suffered 'twisted testis' once as a teenager, had to have an operation to temporarily stop em from gettin twisted again, otherwise one or both will cut emselves off of blood, go black and die, both my two gents are alive and kickin.

Had only 1 wet dream ever. twas actually pretty cool...

Marcus: maybe you wanked too much (if that is at all possible )

[surfin39]

Pumping surf is THE best shit inducer in the whole world IMHO ..............

I agree , always works for me, I reckon that anticipation of something always gets me going in the morning, if I'm thinking it's gonna be good I'm up a little earlier because I know there will always be an extra drop off at the pool .... summer though is no worries, I just get up and go and utilise my god given right to aqua-bog ....

On testacularous endangerous .... I hate it when they've headed for the hills and no matter how much self groping you do your wettie crutch has them sealed tight, ... and then you have to let some (cold) water in through the neck to break the seal so you can coax the little crackers back into the line up .... it's like fighting fire with fire in reverse ....

[philw]

swansea last year.

early morning.

after a heavy night on the grog.

sketchy reef some distance from shore.

first set looms.

it's big.

too big.

the adrenalin pumps.

safety comes.

but literally.

i'm scared shitless.

shit in my wetty.

i mean, really shit in my wetty.

one of those new $500 fully sealed ones.

those seals bloody work.

[still here]

The joys of purging !!
If you're feeling full of sh1t , try "Three Ballerina Tea" ....... (at Chinese or Health food shop)
The box erroneously proclaims " Delightful for Man and Woman " !!.

Feels great to be REALLY clean afterwards , but mega dicey for about 18 hours after "the magic cuppa" .
I've actually fainted on the crapper , shat my baggies , and done me undies all in the name of a good purge with the Ballerina's .

[surfin39]

shit in my wetty.

i mean, really shit in my wetty..

now there's a value adding concept waiting to happen

[puurri]

shit in my wetty.

i mean, really shit in my wetty..

now there's a value adding concept waiting to happen

bet you in middle management eh?

[surfin39]

shit in my wetty.

i mean, really shit in my wetty..

now there's a value adding concept waiting to happen

bet you in middle management eh?

I just like to point out an opportunity when I see one .... you can't deny that you could've done with Rip Curl 3/2 poop shooter at least once or twice .....

unfortunately my aqua-bog this morning was one of the highlights of my surf I was anticipating more .....